Should we be paid to care for each other?
Care and the concept of emotional labor – as repeated, taxing and under-acknowledged acts of gendered performance – has been a field of serious inquiry in the social sciences for decades.
What exactly is emotional labour? When we listen to our partner’s woes, forgive them the absences, the forgetfulness, the one-track mindedness while we’re busy organizing a playdate for the kids. When we applaud success: the grant that was received, the promotion. What if, like childcare and domestic roles, this ongoing emotional care is yet another form of unpaid labor?
This evening, Autumn Elizabeth makes space to explore exactly what emotional labour is - is it appropriately valued? should it be acknowledged? how exactly do we go about doing that even if we wanted to? Should people who engage in it be paid for it? How does patriarchy shape the ways in which different people give and receive different kinds of care, and what can we do about that? Should we outsource care and what does this mean for people without means? How do humans rely on other species for emotional care in strange ways?
The event page is here
References
Wages For Housework - Silvia Frederici
Why do we give robots female names?
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Erickson, Rebecca J, Source Journal, and No May. “Why Emotion Work Matters : Sex , Gender , and the Division of Household Labor Linked References Are Available on JSTOR for This Article : Why Emotion Work Matters : Sex , Gender , and the Division of Household Labor.” 67.2 (2016): 337–351. Print.
Hochschild, Arlie Russell. The Managed Heart. Second. University of California Press, 2003. Print.
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Ritter, Rebecca J . Erickson and Christian. “Emotional Labor , Burnout , and Inauthenticity : Does Gender Matter ?” 64.2 (2016): 146–163. Print.
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Wharton, Amy S. “The Sociology of Emotional Labor.” Annual Review of Sociology 35.1 (2009): 147–165. Web.
Notes taken
348 salon: Embassy: emotional labor: Thursday, September 22, 2016 1308 8:47 pm 551 9/22/16 1 Autumn 1 intersectional feminist what is emotional labor? Erickson & Ritter the skilled performance of emotional labor a post-industrial economy 2 Arlie Russell Hochschild 2 book: The Managed Heart emotional labor 15 emotional work emotional work is performed in private the management of one's own for the benefit of someone else Suzannah Weiss our emotional resources draining our emotional resources to help other people with their feelings a drain on ourselves 1 super complicated four places four lenses the realm of paid and wage labor we do pay people to take care of us nanny hospice worker 7 therapist actual jobs that are all about caring service sector jobs wait staff managing one's own emotions managing one's own emotions in order to perform for a client the element of capitalism in exchange for wage paralegals administrative assistants performing emotional labor multiple vectors of oppression management of feeling the management of only certain feelings deep emotional trust on the masculine end of a spectrum 715 control manage/control society says the opposite feelings a gendered performance cycle not to have their masculinity questioned according to societal standards society has conditioned people 1 masculine men 13 tropes this angry black woman someone who's experiencing oppression more overtly aggressive pop-culture trope the gay male bestie 1 straight women the linkage that our society has created the societal norm gay male besties non-equal division of emotional labor the domestic community relational care an analysis of emotional labor 2 child care to manage your own reactions 2 a list of articles home and relational care doing administrative work in domestic relationships taking on emotional work ethics and philosophy not in my wheelhouse 2 high-level questions are we obligated to care for one another? equal labor distribution the human need for care if we use animals for emotional care 4 invisibility why I wanted to talk about this more visible than it was before 4 the unseen an emotionally rough time 16 my personal time inherently public something many people want to keep private the ripples of that labor a very sad person one of those two jobs super easy to see not nearly as visible the way emotional labor is seen the way emotional labor is gendered the ethical questions we ask my background is also in activism unfairly distributed our families of choice 1 this uneven distribution 2 psychological harm actionable items can we talk about skill? should we be paid to care for each other? what is fair compensation? to do strategy and research when we pay for things paid per hug different types of compensation Silvia Federici wages for housework 1 domestic chores to seek a wage not doing them any more a capitalist strategy managing their employees feelings to manage people 1 a yoga studio I give zero fucks about that the skill question being very good at that I would shut myself off emotionally giving emotional labor to get the house in a really good state people who are good at emotional labor 2 making it visible it's not in your job description working for summer camp this is part of your job to refuse physical labor/to refuse emotional labor 18 social norms financial norms when you're moving extra weird do we value it at that lower level? the social debt that you have when you help somebody move a social expectation if you don't help me move, you're life is in danger survival necessities safety-related aspects of masculinity the women around you the people you're in relationship with 2 society at large Bell Hooks strangers enforcing that on you the gender norms 3 the patriarchy when a stranger can rape me for not smiling our definitions of power the way power operates you feel compelled to do a thing a normative power the skill gap a skill gap a skill gap problem assumed to have certain skills baseline skills what we want to get out of the conversation to do a physical deed a very functional conversation to have 6 mom and dad the learned behavior that we have in a patriarchy what I really want to get out of this as a woman in today's world privilege guilt I have a lot of guilt 1 emotional labor/emotional work people within relationships a traditional structure that you know up against a challenging issue 2 Tobi compensation for emotional labor I don't want to expend that social labor right now 1 a social debt you want to be compensated should be paid for our labor? 2 sharing the load if we're going to even the playing field the emotional labor 1 just listening being skilled enough incredibly not skilled some people are incredibly not skilled you learn how to listen you learn how to give support a non-gendered training currently unpaid social economy of participation I'm interested in payment the lack of equality I'm doing more than someone else the equality part 2 three pieces of advice do you have something difficult going on? how's your life? once you recognize the problem now that it's visible a part that didn't quite sit well the literal act of listening the emotional repercussions intersectional oppressions how to respond to the person who's saying things what I hear from you this aspect of managing the reaction something that doesn't rankle me to talk about that violation having to manage that the crux of the skill gap as a victim and a survivor of sexual assault to retrigger my retraumatization to learn how to manage that emotion this one thing that you can barely stand how do we deal with emotional labor? 2 steff we live in community together 71 emotional support a listening ear reliving my own experience of sexual assault 17 Jack I'm about to tell you something difficult tell the person what you want a cis-dude me as a cis-dude even across the gender spectrum other people who might not have the skills to develop the skills myself does that clarify the clarification? trying to spread out the burden no, I can't give you adequate help right now this is treacherous water 6 I'm out 6 I'm not here 3 the answer is no this retraumatization thing not all work is labor practical ways to deal with it it's what I'm here for I'm Nick, and I'm a bad listener blindness on many levels a certain degree of empathy I feel nothing sometimes I feel nothing sometimes, or often 24 Jessica 1 domestic space questioning domestic space as a space where learning happens you have to clean the dishes is it shared labor? is it ethos? some sort of educational process 1 to be more explicit people don't say hi sometimes I'm not available for you don't laugh at jokes that aren't funny if you're good at it, takes someone who struggles and share it Iggy say thank you and you're welcome the skills that you can do now until you do other skills 2 in my community I make it plain who's doing the emotional labor if you don't see it, you have it if you don't see emotional labor being done, it's because somebody's doing it for you the person doing emotional labor what the skills are that you're expecting society turns me into a man I'm in recovery when I'm doing some emotional labor constantly doing the emotional labor the double-bind of patriarchy our critical systems I think I lost something I don't have that option I'm not talking to that fucking guy gender-related roles in such dire need my question to the group people who just don't get this stuff this drop of human care where we point our emotional labor jizz machines people who fucking don't have any care what saying no looks like one of the biggest struggles that I have I've already done all that I'm able to do I better do this one also real sociological and psychological harm a really difficult position to put people in saying no doesn't mean less work the moving example my queer identity you're coming from a different place you're behaving in a certain way what do you think gender is in general? you're presenting yourself in a certain way my options are limited I do not feel like a woman unisex I don't know how to present you're doing the most emotional labor the sibling house down the street let's talk about this thing it's like a family the fact that emotional labor is not visible even when there are systems the stewarding system the buddy system they have big eyes and big ears the reason people come to you an upgrade of the cultural norms emotional care skills what triggers people I have intentionally not contributed politeness and basic ethics being a very adept emotional laborer emotional labor workshops samaritans we did lots of fun exercises if you build a model too soon that's bad listening another way of training ten years of self-analysis I can't even get my sentence out you just need to get to the end of your sentence the oxygen mask theory I love holding that space open I have to say something one perspective on this my personal take taking on as much emotional burden as possible removing negative valence to not need emotional labor Jazear 5 Sara 10 Brad 26 Eric 10 Eric Rogers 2 Jack Setford Jazear Brooks vectors of oppression 22 Embassy SF 6 Zarinah Agnew 5 Zarinah 20 Matt 2 Tobi Tusing 6 Sean Sean Bolton Autumn Ramone Jessica Sternschuss-Angel Brad Swain Matthew Johnson